As the festive season begins (ranging from August to December 24th 23.59 nowadays depending on your Christmas spirit), you’re bound to find all sorts of additive and plaque inducing treats in the supermarket aisles. It’s incredible how Jesus received gold, frankincense and myrrh on his birth, but now we are merely left with Christmas joy in the form of a Cadbury’s Milk Tray.

When I looked on my phone this morning and discovered that the classic Toblerone had been morphed into what appears to be a sword made out of LEGO pieces, I was pretty disappointed. The Toblerone bar is meant to represent the mountains of the Alps but I don’t recall the Alps looking as spacious as a really bad breast enhancement?

Capitalism is thriving but consumerism isn’t really judging by how out-of-pocket we all are. So I suppose it makes sense why chocolate companies are decreasing the weight and size of their beloved chocolate bars. We’ve seen it with Terry’s chocolate oranges, Cadbury’s creme eggs, and even their Dairy Milk bars too. But we didn’t think Toblerone could ever be exempt as each chocolate piece has each letter imprinted on it. They could have gone all edgy and created a 5-piece bar called ‘TBLRN’ but I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t. So their only answer was to narrow each chocolate segment, creating hideously large gaps between each.

Mondelez released a statement that the decreases are due to higher costs. The price of chocolate was always expected to rise what with deforestation harming both the quantity and quality of cocoa beans available. The demand is also expected to rise by 30% by 2020, so I will probably rush to Poundland in the next week or so and stock up on cheap chocolate. Or I will take the sensible and sustainable option which is to keep supporting cocoa farmers and their families by purchasing Fairtrade chocolate only.

Then there are companies like Bird’s Eye who have outright stated that they will be increasing the price of their products due to the falling exchange rate. Cheers Brexit, you old fiend.

The deformed Toblerone may be aesthetically questionable; but its taste hasn’t changed which is the reason we all buy the bar surely.

In my opinion, do we really need gaps between the segments? That implies the bar is meant for sharing which, let’s admit, I will be eating the entirety of.




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